Halloween: 5 Days!!!

26 October, 2008

So it’s the 26th of October. Have you picked out your Halloween costume yet? If you have, GREAT! If you haven’t, no worries. There is still plenty of time. You can always buy a costume off-the-rack, however many of the options for girls my age-at least in many non-costume stores-are the “fantasy costumes”. Slutty Dorothy, slutty Snow White, Playboy bunny, slutty bumblebee, you name it. They’re fine for some people, but a) I simply do not have the body, and b) I can do a lot better than dressing up in a slutty version of an everyday outfit. The only kind of that costume I would do would be a sailor, because it’s doable while maintaining a shred of class.

But for those of you who are looking for some more original options, look no further than me.

1. The socialite. Dig into your closets and pull out your most formal ballgown. Pull out your best (or biggest) jewels. If you have a vintage fur (or your family does, or you have a faux fur piece, because cruelty-free is best), dig that out as well. Add a bit of neutral makeup and voila! You’re ready to hobnob with the best of them.

2. Viktor & Rolf model. Get an all-black outfit-long sleeved shirt and pants will do. Then, trace or somehow put a giant “NO” on the shirt. Finally, do a giant “NO” on the face. See Eugenia at V&R FW 08 for the inspiration.

3. Fafinette. Google Fafi if you want a clearer idea of what I mean, but the concept is very similar to a harajuku girl, except with a bit crazier makeup (ie hearts and stars on the cheeks).

4. Failed chef. Grab some clothes that have really bad sauce stains on them-or buy a dress shirt and stain it yourself. Add an apron and a chef’s hat, and carry a mixing bowl and spoon for good measure.

5. Lady Luck. Get a strapless or sleeveless dress at a thrift store that fits you, then glue poker chips all over it. Then do a collar with a couple decks of playing cards.

6. IRS agent. This is more for men, however a girl could do it…dress up in a suit, dress shirt, and tie. Slick the hair back in a sort of combover. Draw a mustache on the face, and wear glasses or at least fake ones. Then carry around a briefcase with little slips that say “AUDIT NOTICE”.

7. Bridezilla. Get a wedding gown at a thrift store-or any white gown-and get the works. We are talking veil and everything. Then add some monstrous face makeup, including fangs, and if possible some Godzilla hands. Best yet would also include overstressed bridesmaids, holding a plate with lots of different things on it.

8. Barf. Yes I am talking from Spaceballs. This is easy-get a jumpsuit that is on the larger side. Affix a tail on the back, and get some dog ears that go with it. Finally, stuff the jumpsuit-John Candy DID play Barf, after all.

9. Lesko. Get an ugly suit from a thrift store. Sew or glue giant question marks on it.

10. Stephen Colbert. Seriously…why not?

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